Nothing will ever be as hard as labour, and you did it.
Your baby is here. You are here.
And I promise you: you can do this.

I know - the injuries are unlike anything you’ve known, but somehow, astonishingly, you will heal. Not just physically, but wholly. And, you’ll feel stronger than ever. I’m serious. You won’t believe the growth.

It’s so hard right now, but it won’t always be. You're going to get to know each other so intimately. You’ll be able to read each other so clearly and you'll know just what he needs and when.

You are putting so much pressure on yourself, love. Please try, even just for a moment, to give yourself the grace and beauty you deserve. I am so proud of you.

The feeding is unexplainably hard. The mental load, the physical pain - it comes so close to breaking you, but it won’t. You are fiercely, earth-shatteringly determined. And guess what - one year on, we're still breastfeeding! It’s become the sweetest, softest part of the day. It feels like home. You did that.

One day, somewhere around nine months, you’ll find a real rhythm. You’ll be able to predict naps (yes, actual naps), and that sliver of predictability will give you space to breathe... and all the other stuff.

I know your head is so full, body hurting, and you are navigating it all in the dark, but let me tell you; you are a warrior who is only growing stronger, just like all the other mamas who've come before.

You are raising a child while becoming someone new too. Keep trusting in yourself, you are doing just brilliantly.

With all my love,

Ella x
(one year in and still learning every day)